By Ed Ricciuti
(August 1, 2025) — “I’d kick, yell ‘Fire,’ hit him and then run away.” That’s what Anthony, 7, told his mother when she asked what he would do if ever a stranger tried to grab him. He had just informed her that he was a big boy, old enough to go to the men’s room at the marina alone. No more accompanying her to the women’s facility when he had to go. She was worried but, she says, reassured when her son seemed prepared to deal with unwelcome adult attention. “I was amazed,” she said.
Actually, she should not have been surprised. She had seen Anthony practice what he preached regularly in Youth Hapkido class at Green Hill Martial Arts, our non-profit school in the Old Towne Hall at Killingworth Congregational Church. Training in what is commonly called “Stranger Danger” is taught not just at our studio but by many, if not most, quality martial arts schools.
Parents looking for a reputable martial arts school for children should ask if dealing with potential threats from adults is part of the curriculum. A competent martial arts instructor should understand the nuances involved in teaching children to stay safe in a potentially dangerous world.
There is a very good reason, for example, why Anthony used the word “fire” instead of “help” or just screaming when trying to attract attention when in trouble. “Fire” is much more likely to elicit a response than other words because it signifies real danger. People may think loud yells or even a call for help come from children playing. Shouting “fire” also has an impact on the predator, because the last thing wanted is attention.
Some authorities dispute the efficacy of the fire idea and instead suggest tactics such as “Help, I’m being kidnapped,” or “Help, rape.” It might work for an adult, but with children, the simpler the better.
Skeptics also might question Anthony’s ability to hurt an adult with a kick or a hand strike. Properly taught, even a four- or five-year old can use hands and feet effectively enough to cause a jolt of pain strong enough to make an adult release their grip or at least cause sufficient distraction to allow a child to escape.
When taught to properly, even a small child can deliver a bruising kick to an adult’s shin. With just a little skill, a little hand can strike the arm’s radial nerve – easy to locate – and, for example, cause an aggressor to let go so a child can run away.
It’s common advice that a person pursued by a threat should zig zag. It sometime works but it’s better to run straight and fast towards the nearest safe cover or person. Fighting, of course, is the last resort. Martial arts training for children should include situational awareness, how to identify potential threats and what to do if one is perceived, and how to avoid danger in the first place.
Children should be reassured that if someone – not necessarily a stranger but anyone – scares them or makes them feel uncomfortable, they should immediately leave and tell a trusted adult. They need to be taught how to recognize what the experts call “tricky” people. A stranger who is excessively friendly or, worse, handsy, falls into this category. They should know it is okay to seek help from safe adults, such as police officers, teachers, store clerks, or parents with children.
Ed Ricciuti is president of Green Hill Martial Arts in Killingworth. This is one in a series of his articles on personal safety.
