Joe: “Welcome and good afternoon. We would like to first extend our deepest thanks to Superintendent Wihbey, Ms. Hayward, Mr. Apicella, Mrs. Flint, faculty dignitaries, and all of our friends and family for joining us this special afternoon. We offer a warm welcome to members of the Board of Education, and Board Chair Suzanne Sack here on stage. On behalf of the Haddam-Killingworth High School Class of 2023 and the 2023 Class Officers and Advisors, welcome to this year’s commencement ceremony.”
Julia: “Class of 2023, it is an honor to be standing up here in front of you today as your class officers. When we found out we would be speaking in front of you all, we knew we wanted to do something collective that would be meaningful for each of you. These past four years, the majority of us have read the same books, and written the same essays. To Kill a Mockingbird, Of Mice and Men, A Raisin in the Sun; these novels and so many more have shaped our broadening perspectives on the world in such a pivotal time of our lives. Books offer us a lens into a world we may not see every day. They can teach us lessons that will last us a lifetime. In these last few minutes we have with you all, we would each like to leave you with some familiar words we hope you will carry with you into this next chapter of life.”
Julia: “In the wise words of Atticus Finch, ‘You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view….until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.’ As you leave HK behind, you’ll find that the people you meet haven’t had the same teachers, or share the same friends as you, let alone know the same winding back roads of Haddam and Killingworth. Their lives are as much a mystery to you, as yours will be to them. Find grace in empathy, and power in kindness. You’ll never know the full extent of someone’s past, but taking a moment to consider things from their point of view can make all the difference.”
Grace: “John Steinbeck, author of Of Mice and Men, leaves his reader with these words, ‘A guy needs somebody―to be near him. A guy goes nuts if he ain’t got nobody. Don’t make no difference who the guy is, long’s he’s with you.’ Human connection is a vital component of leading a fulfilled life. You don’t need a crowd of people cheering your name, but instead a few close friends to help you take on the challenges life has to offer. In our time at HK, we have been fortunate enough to experience these types of relationships, the ones that will last and the ones that mean the most. We are about to embark onto new experiences and the friendships formed at HK have provided us with a basis for success as well as primed us to cultivate new relationships. We are going to accomplish great things and we will do it with great people at our side.”
Joe: “Lorraine Hansberry’s A Raisin in the Sun left us with these few words that I believe we all need to hear once more. ‘There is always something left to love. And if you ain’t learned that, you ain’t learned nothing.’ While you proceed with whatever life may bring, wherever you go, remember to always find something, or someone, to love. Remember to take seconds to relax and enjoy life for what it is. Even when that goal you set for yourself, whether that is graduating college, finishing trade school, or getting that long sought after job, is all you can think about, take a moment and give yourself a break. If you take one thing from my short words, take this: find yourself a passion, allow yourself to live a little, and seek out love and joy in everything you do.”
Caroline: “John Green wrote in his novel, Turtles All the Way Down, ‘You’re the narrator, the protagonist, and the sidekick. You’re the storyteller and the story told. You are somebody’s something, but you are also your you.’ I remember reading this line a few months ago and thinking to myself, how could I be the narrator in a life that feels so planned out? For most of us, graduation is the first time we get to choose our next adventure. Out of the three billion high school graduates we are all here together, at this one school, sitting on the same bleachers. Together we have created Chapter One. Through good, bad, or indifferent, Chapter One remains part of all of our stories. Whether it is peace, purpose, knowledge, adventure, love, or happiness, I hope we find what we are looking for as the narrators of our Chapter Two.”
Paige: “As Angie Thomas writes in her well-known novel, The Hate U Give, ‘Brave doesn’t mean you’re not scared. It means you go on even though you’re scared.’ As all of us begin a journey that looks different for each of us, bravery is a trait that everyone needs to possess. Always remember that being scared is a trait that is unavoidable, but the ability to cope with that feeling in a positive way is a quality that our class most definitely has. No matter where life takes us, Thomas taught us to voice our fears, which bravery will allow us to do. I will end with this. Just as high school has taught me, find your passion, even if it means stepping out of your comfort zone. Bravery can bring people together. Use it to your advantage as you embark on your future endeavors.”
Callen: “Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom is the perfect novel to reflect on our past four years and to move forward into the future. As Morrie Schwartz once said, ‘The way you get meaning in your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.’ This quote about the meaning of life allows us to think about what we truly believe will give our lives substance. Will it be the community around you? Will it be the act of loving others? Will it be searching for your own purpose? All three of these can move us forward as not only college students in the next four years, but also human beings for the rest of our lives.”
Callen: “Class of ‘23, I’ll leave you with these last few words from Morrie Schwartz. ‘Don’t let go too soon, but don’t hang on too long.’ We can’t wait to see what you all do, and the people you become. Go change the world, HK.”
The next speaker was the Class of 2023 Salutatorian, Kristen Thebeau. Her remarks follow:
“Good evening. My name is Kristen Thebeau and I have the privilege of addressing you as the Salutatorian of the Class of 2023. I would like to thank everyone who helped get us here. Teachers. Administrators. Staff. Families. Friends. There are so many people whose dedication and support are what allow us to be here today. I want to take these few minutes to reflect on what I believe was the most important lesson from my high school career. This lesson is best broken down into two parts. The first part was inspired by a speech made by UConn graduate and NBA player, Emeka Okafor. This one sentence was not only so impactful that I am sharing it with you now, but it left the whole room stunned to silence. He said: “Doubt has killed more dreams than failure ever will.” (pause) “Doubt has killed more dreams than failure ever will.” We’ve all experienced doubt. It’s that feeling you get when you think you’re not good enough. Your defense against failure. But it prevents you from trying in the first place and from taking any risks. More dreams are killed by doubt because if you don’t try, there’s no chance for failure. This is where the second part of my message comes in. I’ve found that the best way to overcome doubt is to surround yourself with people who lift you up. I’m sure you’ve all had that friend, family member, teacher, or even stranger you saw only once, who showed you there was another way of looking at things and inspired you to try despite doubt. I can recount hundreds of doubts that I’ve had to overcome just this year, from swimming to school to music. But I’d like to share just one. Last month, the Music Department had its spring concert. The second piece of the night was Flight of the Bumblebee, a solo piece I would perform, with the band playing an accompaniment underneath. This piece features a chaotic melody that I think perfectly depicts a deranged wasp flying around a field. I was handed this piece with fourteen months to prepare, which should have been more than enough. But every time the song was on the rehearsal schedule, I would ask to skip it. I didn’t think I was good enough to perform the piece in front of an audience, and the closer the concert came, the more doubt invaded my mind. A few days before the concert, the doubt became overwhelming. I confessed all my worries to a friend who listened and reassured me that everything would be okay. He told me that I was ready and that, even if I did mess up, everyone would commend the fact that I even attempted the piece. These reassurances, along with reminders to breathe, and thumbs-ups before the performance, helped me to defeat the doubt and perform with confidence at the concert. Sometimes you don’t realize that this type of person has blessed your life until after the fact. They could come in the form of a teammate, co-worker, coach, teacher, classmate, or friend. And I could go on and on about the teammates who helped me reach the championship qualification time during swim season or the teachers who helped me succeed throughout the school year. But what’s most important is that you reflect on and recognize how your life has been impacted by these types of people. The ones who bring you up when you’re down, who show you the way when you’re lost, and who keep you company when you’re at your lowest. These are the people who help you defeat doubt. So, as we all go out into the world, remember to surround yourself with and cherish the people who lift you up, because they are the ones who will support you no matter what and who will help you if doubt ever becomes too much. If you surround yourself with people who bring you up, doubt will never prevail. Best of luck to all of you, and I know you will find these people in your lives. Congratulations, Class of 2023! Thank you.”
The next speaker was the Class of 2023 Valedictorian, Abigail “Abby” Jones. Her remarks follow:
“Hello friends, thank you so much for this opportunity to speak. I appreciate your attention and wish to congratulate the class of 2023 on all of their accomplishments. When approaching this speech, I honestly came up with more questions than answers. Why do we have this whole ceremony? What is up with these outfits? Why do we say every single name? If you’d like to know the answers to these questions, we can talk after the ceremony. But the question I was really getting at is “what is graduation really all about?” And you’re probably thinking “Abby, are you serious? It’s because we survived four years of high school and now we get a piece of paper that says that!” Which is fair. But I’ve boiled it down to three things: Gratitude, success, and “the rush.” For those of you who were worried when I didn’t start off with thank-you’s, I did not forget. Because graduation has thank-you’s at its heart. We are here because of the many people who supported us. I want to shout out our families who have guided us through this journey. Next shout out to our friends, who were cited in just about every yearbook writeup with their late-night phone calls, car rides blasting music, and unforgettable memories. But these people are outside of the school. Within this District are the teachers, administrators, guidance counselors, secretaries, psychologists, paraprofessionals, cafeteria workers, bus drivers and custodians who have devoted their professional lives to helping us. That’s a lot of humans. Even though we graduates are the shining stars of this celebration, we can’t forget the people who got us here. Today should also be about them and the gratitude we feel. Evidenced by the fact that we’re here, those people have succeeded. We have succeeded, right? In the textbook sense. And no, I am not going to read the Webster’s dictionary definition of success because you can look that up on your own time. Because success is what you call it. Some days, getting out of bed is a major accomplishment. Other days, you’re graduating high school. The difference is in what we value and celebrate. I think that if someone celebrated my existence as much as my aunt celebrates her cats, I would be unstoppable. So, celebrate your successes! Be proud that you or someone you love is walking across the stage today, and be proud that you got out of bed this morning. Because sometimes getting out of bed is all you can do. And that is a success worth celebrating. Today we are released into the wild. You’re on your own, kid. Which is, honestly, really scary. Coming to the same District with the same kids for thirteen years is safe, and we are leaving that safety. I’m not even going to try to describe how that feels. Exciting? Liberating? Terrifying? Maybe a strange mix of all three? I really don’t know. But one thing that I’ve learned is that what matters is what you do with that feeling. You could let it paralyze you, or you could “ride on the rush” (that’s a phrase from a musical, I’m not that poetic). So, when I have gotten overwhelmed this year, I just called it “the rush” and tried to channel it into something. If my English essay was stressing me out, I’d invent a new side quest and end up learning the comprehensive history of rat kings. A rat king is where a bunch of rats’ tails get caught together so it’s one super rat, I have a great article. I’ll send you the link. Not saying you have to do that. In a world where you have some illusion of free will, I invite you to take control. Take that rush and run with it. See where it takes you. If you enter college as a business major, but the rush is taking you somewhere else, go with it. It’s never too late to change your future. In the paralysis that seizes you at the beginning of this new chapter, remember that it is going to work out; you know it’s going to work out, you just don’t know where. So let the rush guide you to your future. To sum it up, today I want you to reflect on what got you here, celebrate that you are here, and take control of where you go next. Gratitude, success, and “the rush.” You’re your own human now. It’s scary and liberating, and I can’t wait to see what you do next.”
HKHS Principal Donna Hayward addressed the Class of 2023. Her remarks follow:
“Good Evening, Seniors. I am so happy to be celebrating with you and your families this evening at this important milestone. Every class is special, and each one has its own distinct personality, but when I think about this senior class, I’m struck by how much you really are a collection of individuals whose departure actually changes the personality of the school, more than others. As Seniors, you were the only ones with a memory of HK before the pandemic, so you were, by default, charged with helping us get back to being us. You were the first class to be held to higher graduation requirements: 25credits instead of 24, with specificity around STEM and Humanities courses, more World Language and Health credits than the classes before you, and the Senior Portfolio. And you did it-each and every one of you! But beyond being the pioneers and leading in these ways, the Class of 2023 is just a bit different. You’re multifaceted and complex, with individual points of light that just make you as a group particularly memorable. From the outside, looking in at any class, I suppose some folks could miss the remarkable. But I haven’t. And your teachers and coaches and school family haven’t. We have known you are special since the day you arrived and the space you leave behind today will actually never be filled, your impact and influence lingering long after you have loaded up the car and headed off to your next adventures. This class helped lead the Cougars to ten Shoreline championships and six State championships including wrestling, outdoor track and the four cross-country championships-the bar is high on painting pride rock! Wait! I’m leaving someone out…it’s SEVEN! Remember when HK won the Baseball State Championship?!?! Your class includes the 2023 SCC Swimmer of the Year and a two-time All-American gymnast! Many of you helped facilitate the Names assembly, building an even stronger culture for our school. You have helped to raise more than $67,000 over the past four years through the Holiday Show for charities and causes close to our heart, performing live for the local access audience, manning the phones and the cameras and producing/directing the show! All told, this class has logged 10,704 hours of community service. You have fed the hungry, cleaned the beaches, coached little athletes, served on mission trips, planted trees to replenish the forests, served your churches, tutored your peers, worked at the library, supported children with special needs, and worked for Goodwill. And while the collective accomplishments are show-stopping on their own, a closer look reveals just remarkable individual sparkle. One of you is a national equestrian champion. One of you immigrated to the States after his home was attacked, spoke not a word of English, and then taught himself the language by watching Netflix and YouTube videos. One of you, with her pioneering spirit, is the first female Eagle Scout in the region. One of you is getting his pilot’s license. One of you is Ukrainian and helps raise money to support the people affected by the war. One of you has 504 hours of community service from helping the elderly and disabled and teaching church class. One of you learned to code through an online college course in Spain his junior year and now will dual major in computer science and theology. One of you is the drum major for a local fife and drum corps, honoring history through music. One of you sewed 50masks for students of HK during the pandemic. One of you has served the non-profit Card Angel organization for nearly a decade, handcrafting cards to send to people in hospitals and nursing homes. One of you teaches Irish step dance and has performed in Disney’s Dance the World show. And one of you is a sea cadet who leads a division of 35 young people and has achieved the rank of chief petty officer-the highest rank one can attain in that program. I don’t even knowhow we do school without some of you! How will we manage without Callen’s positivity, Tate’s loyalty, Sophie’s school spirit, and Aleysha’s beautiful voice? I’ll never again have a cupcake as good as that chocolate raspberry concoction the boys made for Cupcake Wars. And what, exactly, are we supposed to do with Larissa’s office in guidance? The year you were born, Hurricane Katrina hit the Gulf of Mexico, Pope John Paul II was laid to rest in Vatican City, astronomers discovered the dwarf planet Eris, and Saddam Hussein faced an Iraqi judge for crimes against humanity. And get this: “Me at the Zoo” was the first video ever to be uploaded toYouTube. We’ve had a few videos uploaded since then. Fast forward to this, your senior year, and we see the coronation of a new king of the United Kingdom. Disney turned 100. The Russian war continues in Ukraine and Artificial Intelligence is not only in the headlines but was likely used to write many of them, yet not one word of this speech. There is a great need for workers in public service such as police officers and the caretaking fields like nurses, and a national teacher shortage threatens one of the foundational pillars of our country. Although the headlines change over the years, change itself does not. In fact, it’s one of the only things we can be certain of! So, I’d like to offer a few thoughts to carry with you through change, through challenge, even through the easy times-kind of my rules for success, if you will. They have served me well and I offer them to you for your consideration: Rule #1: Show up. Just show up! Half the “trick” to success isn’t a trick at all, just a matter of being where you’re supposed to be when you’re supposed to be there. Go to class if you’re off to college. Show up to work when you have a job. Show up for your people. And when you’re there, wherever there is, be there-not someplace else-not in your head, on your phone, or surfing social media. Be present, lean in, and engage. Abby advised you to ride the rush-and I agree. But if you don’t show up, you’ll miss the trip. Rule #2: You have to earn your stripes. Once you show up, you have to work hard and contribute positively to the task at hand, the team, the mission. At many points, you’ll be tested. You’ll need to show that you can persevere, that you can handle difficulty and struggle. You’ll need to be able to say the hard things when nobody else will. You will need to stand on your own two feet. Whatever it is you hope for or dream of-a job, a reward, an opportunity-you’ll need to get up, get out, and go after it. And watch out for that doubt that Kristen warned about-it will creep in. Tell it to have a seat, and go get what you want. Rule #3: Stay connected to your family-whoever that is. It might be your nuclear family. It might be your athletic team, a particular circle of friends, or your HK family. You’ll need a home base to come back to often. I sometimes refer to these people as your lighthouses, whose very presence guides you when life gets cloudy and your way is unclear. Your family will remind you of who you are, what you’re capable of, and be your tireless cheering squad on the sidelines. They are also who you’ll come to when you need rest, deep rest. Life gets busy and we all lose focus sometimes on what’s important. But no matter where you go and what you end up doing with your life, I guarantee that when you look back from an older age, the moments you have spent with these humans will be what mattered most. Rule #4: Connect to something bigger than yourself. Maybe for you it’s nature, perhaps your spirituality, or a professional calling, some combination of the three, or something else entirely. Whatever it is, connect to it and be mindful that you are a part of something much bigger than yourself. It will keep you humble, give you purpose, fuel you and hold you accountable all at the same time. A couple of months ago, I came across a video that I shared with a tired faculty whom I’d hoped to encourage a bit to finish out the year, and to a group of students who had been specifically named by that faculty as really suited to teaching. The video features a teacher named Mr. Jensen-and a little boy of about 10 named Clint who couldn’t sit still in class. He couldn’t stop tapping on things. Clint was sent to the principal’s office. He got in trouble with teachers and annoyed his classmates-because he was constantly tapping. Until one day, he had Mr. Jensen as a teacher and Mr. Jensen kept him after class. He sat down at his desk, with Clint right beside him, reached into his top drawer and pulled out a pair of drumsticks. He handed them to the boy, leaned in, and said, “Clint, I don’t think you’re a problem-I think you’re a drummer.” Clint Pulver then went on to play on America’s Got Talent,” put himself through college by playing professionally, and has now played all over the world in addition to becoming a motivational speaker who regularly references this exchange with that very special teacher in his life. Clint reflects how that exchange with Mr. Jensen made him realize that you don’t have to be the best in the world, but be the best FOR the world. Wherever you go and whatever you do next, connect to something bigger than yourself and be the best for the world. Rule #5: I would usually call this the Don’t be a Jerk rule, but this is a graduation speech so I can’t really say that. I guess I’ll call it the Good Energy rule. Be kind. Bea truth teller. Be a problem solver instead of just complaining about the problem. Grant grace where grace is needed, help someone less fortunate than you. Live your life so that you can be honest with your children about what you did. Here’s why all this matters. Whatever you send out into the world is what you get back because like attracts like. So, if you send out kindness, positivity, and good intentions, you will attract those same things back into your life. As T Swift says, “Me and Karma vibe like that.” (Although I would just like to point out that it’s “Karma and I vibe like that ”) Just imagine how we could change the world if every one of you–and every one of YOU-consciously and purposefully chose to send positivity and light and love out into our community. Avoid the haters-and whatever you do, don’t become one! So, as you head off to 69 different colleges in21 states, 13 to the world of work, and two of you to the military(thank you and be safe), remember these things and know that you are an amazing group of humans who will have a positive and remarkable impact. You are Cougars. You are forever ours, and we are forever yours. It has been an honor and a privilege to be your principal. Thank you for everything you have taught me. Godspeed.”
