Social Distancing . . . What If It Actually Makes Us All Closer To Each Other?

By Terrie Hevrin.

Hey . . . what are you all doing to keep yourself occupied during these times of “social distancing” and isolation? As I’m feeling cooped up and beginning to go stir crazy while climbing the walls (a little dramatic but I know some of you know exactly what I’m talking about), I’ve begun a quest to fend off boredom and boost productivity in my life..

I’ve come up with a few ways to “step out” of this situation as I try to respectfully keep a safe distance away from folks as I consider the health of myself and those around me.

Here are a few things you might like to try. Of course there are the regular things that come to mind like getting lost in a good book, going for a walk in the woods, watching that movie that you’ve been wanting to see or calling family and friends you haven’t talked to in a while. You could do a thorough cleaning of your vehicles. Vacuum, wipe down the interior and wash the car. It’ll be so nice to go out for a drive in your almost new feeling chariot. How about bathing the dog? Just think of how soft and good smelling he/she will be. Then, post-bath, go ahead, hug the dog. There’s just something about hugging a pet that feels so good….unless your pet is a beloved iguana. Then you’re on your own. I have no experience with iguanas. But I do know someone who absolutely loves theirs. Hug that iguana!

Here’s another option. Grab a piece of paper and write down the first thing that comes to mind and then speak it. The next person writes down then speaks what immediately comes to their mind. (It’ll most likely be based on what you or the previous person wrote and spoke.) Continue with everyone, even if it’s just two of you, or even if you’re all alone. Once everyone feels they’ve had enough, read it aloud. It might be fodder for your best seller. (You’re welcome) Who knows, you might find out something you didn’t know about each other. Like how they think. Might be fun. Give it a try.

And speaking of the aforementioned best seller . . . Have your kids write a journal. (If they are too young, you’ll have to write down their answers for them.) What are they happy about now, what scares them, what do they want to do when they grow up, who do they most admire and why, what is their favorite color, animal, activity? Where do they want to travel? Who would they like to meet? What do they like most about you? What do they not like about you? Then discuss it. Oh, and make sure that YOU also write a journal. Enter all of the above mentioned items and, most importantly add why you are proud of them. I know I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know, but they really do need to hear that you’re proud of them and tell them often. It may not be everyone’s idea of a great read, but I have a feeling it will be one of your favorites.

Dads, why don’t you “send” your daughters flowers? Try making “flowers” from coffee filters that you have marked up with colored magic markers and spritzed to make the colors run or maybe tint the filters with water colors. And make the flowers with lots of colors — girls love color. Mothers dance with your sons. They love you more right now than they ever will again. But don’t forget, they’ll always love you, just not with the innocence they have right now. Right now they love you just because. No reason, just because. Dads, same goes for you and your daughters.

Another game is a game I call “what if.” Come up with a scenario and ask others what they would do in a situation like this. Make sure to get the younger ones in on it. Something tells me you may learn from the young ones. They are not yet over thinkers. And little kids, before they are influenced by the world, are still their true selves. I like to think they would maybe make me think as honestly and directly as they do. And with older kids it could just be funny

OK . . . so have you ever wanted to try something but never had the time? Yeah, me too. How about . . .learning to cook. Not everything I’ve made is something I would want to present at a dinner party. I admit there have been a few times that I have chucked the whole dinner into the trash and ordered pizza. So, maybe I’ll crack open a cookbook today, or check out a few on-line recipe sites. Maybe I’ll try a dish I’ve never made before. Maybe I’ll impress my family with a new delicious meal . . .maybe.

Try your hand at creating art. Paint, sculpt, write, sing, act, knit, crochet, sew, whittle, take care of those houseplants you’ve neglected all winter (or is that just me). Yes, I believe that gardening is an art . . .after all, I do have to be creative if I’m going to keep those suckers alive. I tried a topiary once . . .didn’t end well. But I digress. Maybe you could get out to the garage and use those tools and saws you had to have. All of you oak and maple, pine and mahogany loving ladies and gentlemen . . .think beautifully crafted, exquisite in quality and highly desired works of woodworking splendor. Tables and desks, flower stands and cabinets, chairs and coffee tables. Just imagine the honors and salutations coming your way. If your skills are in the developing stage…maybe start out by making a shelf or something. As for me, I’ll never be a woodworker. Some of you are, I’m sure, familiar and skilled with woodworking tools and saws . . .but not me . . .nope, not going anywhere near any of those saws. My husband tried to teach me to use a chain-saw once . . .only once. Silly man. I narrowly missed cutting off his leg. I learned, he learned . . .no saws for me. The point is, let’s not limit ourselves because someone told us we couldn’t or we’ve convinced ourselves we can’t.  Go ahead . . .throw caution to the wind. (Except with saws  . . . never throw caution to the wind with saws.)

Moving on, plan that amazingly beautiful, neighbor envying, traffic stopping front yard garden you saw in that fancy magazine. Oh . . . and then, once it’s planted sending rainbows of vast, various, vibrant colors, send a picture of said garden to the “fancy magazine” people. They’re going to want it on their front cover. Just think of the masses of gardeners who are going to try to replicate your stunning creation! I hope you’ll have time to answer all the fan mail you’ll be getting.

This might be one of my favorite things of all. If you have babies in your home, it’s simple. Just make them laugh. It’s remarkably easy to make babies laugh. It’s the best “music” you’ll ever have the pleasure of hearing. I bet you’ll find yourself laughing too.

And speaking of “music,” did you know the peepers are out? On a warmer evening sit outside and listen. No speaking . . . just listen. If it’s colder outside, wrap yourself and your loved ones in a huge blanket, huddle together, or light the fire pit (don’t forget the marshmallows) and just love and enjoy being near each other. It won’t always be this way. And no I’m not talking about a pandemic (although this too shall pass), I’m talking about the way you are all together now.

How about making up words to songs you already know. Think Weird Al. If you aren’t familiar with the works of Weird Al, Google it. Might make you laugh. Your teenagers might like this one too. Teenagers have an amazing sense of humor.

Answer your teens questions . . . how did you and your spouse meet? What attracted you to each other? What did you do for fun when you were teenagers? Tell them of funny things you remember. Same goes for sad events . . . how did you handle and get past them. How did your parents (their grandparents) meet. If you don’t know and they are still living, call them. They’d love to know that someone is actually interested. (Sometimes older folks feel invisible. Don’t let your older family members feel that way.) Write down the responses to all these questions. You’ll be glad you have them someday and your kids will be too.

Put together your family tree starting with family members you currently know, then research, research, research. The internet is a great tool, even if you don’t have a subscription to one of those ancestor finding apps. Put your family tree on paper. There’s a lot to actually seeing it in print. Make a scrap book about your family complete with pictures and personal stories. The little ones can get involved with this too. Do you have pictures? I do . . . tons . . .some duplicates that I don’t particularly need to keep. Your kids may like cutting out pictures of you, your parents, any family member, especially ones they don’t know. Give them a little history of those ones they don’t know and will never have the chance to meet. They can paste or tape their pictures into their a scrap book.  Make sure to write down names of those pictured.  Someday this will be so important to them. Oh, and add facts, memories and stories about these people that your kids will never be able to meet. Pass on your family history.

Let your kids create “kid art.” I hear it’s the in thing. I love it when I go into someone’s home and see their kids artwork framed and on the walls. To me it’s always been “in.”

Do or make something that’s sure to brighten someone else’s day. Bake something, call someone, read to someone, (kids, adults, doesn’t matter) write poetry, sing, listen to music, dance in the kitchen, notice the colors of the sky,( there are so many colors in a sunset), paint them, give heart-felt compliments, tell someone that you love and cherish them, try to see the good in others, no one is all bad, and DON’T take yourself too seriously. Anonymously knock on a neighbor’s door and leave something for them on their doorstep . . . a hand-made card, flowers, soup, groceries, a coffee, a good book, a jigsaw puzzle, the list can be endless. A gift given in anonymity doesn’t expect anything in return. The “return” you will feel by doing something like this will be so gratifying to you. It really is true . . . the giver gets more out of giving than the recipient . If you are the recipient, pass it on. Could start a real trend in your town, home, heart.  That should give us all a little something to do. I’ll bet there are countless ideas from all of you.

But the bottom line is . . .

We’ve been given the wonderful gift of imagination . . . use it.

And let’s all step out of that tiny box we refer to as our “comfort zone.” It confines us.

And on a more serious note, take care of yourselves, body, mind, soul and spirit. We’ll get through this and most likely be stronger, wiser, happier, more giving, more appreciative town families.

Lastly, thank you, thank you, thank you to all of you health care providers, firefighters, clergy, volunteers, folks who repair equipment and keep our travel ways open, store and restaurant employees who keep us fed, military and their families, each and every one of you who are making sacrifices for us all.

We’ll get through this together.