This is a column, “Regular: To Go” similar to Musings from a Millennial, from the west end of Higganum out by the Lake. A long time writer for HK-Now and other online publications, this resident will cover a wide range of topics, whatever is on her radar. The views stated here are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the editors of this newspaper.
By Deb Thomas.
“Out beyond ideas of wrong doing and right doing,
there is a field. I’ll meet you there.”
While on her way to the afternoon Pride celebration at H-K Intermediate School on Saturday, June 26, a young woman I know from Higganum got stuck in traffic at the Killingworth rotary. When traffic came to a halt, she encountered a barrage of hateful, vulgar epithets. She talked about this in an open letter on social media on Sunday; I read it and felt an unspeakable rage because this could have happened to my children, or my friends’ child, or to any of us. I also felt a huge wave of sadness for her because all she wanted to do was go to a happy event.
Why would people do this; is the contempt they feel for someone who differs from them so vile, that it bubbles up and erupts into awful, ranting and screaming against someone else? Make no mistake, they weren’t singing, “Put on a Happy Face,” and handing out daisies. However, wasn’t this free speech in action?
No. What these bullhorn-yelling folks did, was not to exercise a perceived free-speech right; they sought to intimidate others. What they did not do, was understand that their actions, in some cases, could also be illegal, and no longer considered simply a misdemeanor; what they did can also be interpreted as a felony. Enacted into Connecticut State Law, in October, 2017, the statute against hate crimes is now a serious offense. If the attack was done due to bias against another’s “race, religion, ethnicity, disability, sexual orientation, or gender identity,” these things may now be tried in a court of law as a hate crime.**
No one should be victimized for being who they are, what they wear, believe, or what they look like. There are a few reasons why people lash out however, and act out this way, but topping the list is fear. Psychological data shows this hateful behavior of trying to intimidate someone has another name; bullying. A bully is afraid of something. That’s the motivator behind behavior like this—fear of not belonging, not measuring up, being in a minority. Just as likely, among other reasons—the bully may have received some emotional or physical abuse. And because humans instinctively want to fit it, bullies can and do stick together; a herd of bullies who feel they do not fit into the rest of society can and will attack those they think are weaker.
Perhaps by understanding why some people have a need to do this we can deal with this better. But, how and, how do you diffuse this? Especially when there is a mob mentality at play. Careful study show the longer bullies can cause someone to be uncomfortable, it gets harder to make the bully or bullies, stop. One way is to speak out against this. Taking immediate action says you know what they are doing and you aren’t going to allow it. It probably won’t stop them, especially out in public, but by calling those people out you will be exposing them. You will be taking away some of their perceived power.
Governor Lamont announced a new; Connecticut Hate Crimes Advisory Council, in early June of this year, saying, “Nobody should ever have to fear being the victim of the crime for being the person they are, and it is unconscionable that people continue to be targeted throughout our country because of the color of their skin, the religion they practice, the person they love, their country of birth, or any other personal attributes that identify who they are.” The goal of the Council is to “…establish policies that prevent these crimes from happening in the first place and ensure the appropriate actions are taken in the event that we are faced with crisis in the future.”
When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too
full to talk about.” (Jalal ad-Din Muhammad Rumi)
We have so much more to offer each other. A hand up. A welcome sign. A shared meal. A combined effort to make our world a better place. I don’t agree with many people I know about politics, religion, taxes. Yet, my disagreements don’t make me want to rush to a traffic circle and scream hateful things at them. Also, as a grave consequence, some things you say or do in a hateful rant, especially in a repeated incident, can cause you to be arrested in Connecticut.
The things that happened on Saturday made me think of an often quoted poem by Rumi, “The Wagon,” which I believe is a deep lesson in morality. The poem’s middle verse addresses “wrong doing and right doing;” and is an apt comparison to the events that happened to my friend. These things exist, together, as a conflict within us all. We have the ability to assess the difference between the two, unless we are mentally incapacitated. But things get too heavy, too big, “when the soul lies down in the grass,” he says. It is because you can’t determine which is which, “The world is too full to talk about;” too full, and too difficult. But we must. We must weigh the consequences of our actions and then decide. It’s a moral judgment.
“Ideas, language, even the phrase ‘each other’
doesn’t make any sense.
The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don’t go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don’t go back to sleep.
People are going back and forth across the doorsill
where the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don’t go back to sleep.”
When he says the phrase, “each other – doesn’t make any sense,” he’s saying that the “each” who we are as individuals—is what doesn’t make sense, because we should be – collectively–all as one. The morality comes down to the choice of wrong doing or the right doing—for all, instead of one, or each.
He cautions too, that we cannot go back to sleep. Although things make no sense, we need to talk, the door is open. The things out in the field can divide by each thought, or we can go through the door, collectively.
Exposing that this happened should bring more of us to our senses. It is unquestionably wrong this happened to one of us, one of our H-K Community. I am sorry for my young friend who did nothing to warrant the hate-spew she and her companion experienced, except to try to get to a party. We know better, and we must do better.
**
In Connecticut as well as other states, derogatory words or actions against people and their beliefs can now be taken as a serious offense, and a hate crime can be punished by a fine or prison sentence. The central reason Connecticut has enacted powerful hate crime legislation is to discourage harassment of other historic social out-casts, and disenfranchised people in our country.
Additionally there are new minimum fines for some hate crimes, such as burning a cross. The Connecticut State judicial system can seek long term jail time as well, if accusations proved there were violent threats against someone based on ethnic group, religion, gender, disability or sexual orientation.
A summary of Public Act -1711 reads in part:
Connecticut has several statutes that deal with hate crimes. The statutes protect a range of people, enhance penalties for bias crimes, and allow injured parties to sue for money damages. The primary criminal statutes are the “intimidation based on bigotry or bias” crimes. These statutes provide three degrees of penalties. They address certain actions that intimidate or harass another person because of his or her actual or perceived race, religion, ethnicity, disability, sexual orientation, or gender identity or expression. The other criminal statutes that address hate crimes include: 1. deprivation of rights, desecration of property, and cross burning; 2. deprivation of a person’s civil rights by someone wearing a mask or hood; 3. ridicule on account of race, creed, or color; 4. deprivation of a person’s equal rights and privileges by force or threat; and 5. certain threatening crimes.
This report also describes other provisions on hate crimes, including persistent offender status; anti-bias or diversity awareness programs as conditions of accelerated rehabilitation, probation, and conditional discharge; the state-wide hate crimes advisory council; and police training.
(This is a summary from the Office of Legislative Research – Objective Research for Connecticut’s Legislature, titled: Connecticut Hate Crimes, by Michelle Kirby, Senior Legislative Attorney, on December 14, 2017 and can be read in its entirety at: https://www.cga.ct.gov/2017/rpt/pdf/2017-R-0196.pdf)
