HKYFS is your youth and family service agency. We are your neighbor. We are here to help support you and your family and your friends in any way that is needed. Though our office is officially closed we are open for business through phone, email or online contact. No issue or concern is too big or too small. No question is too simple. Reach out if there are things on your mind that you want to talk about or that worry about or keep you ip. Reach out if you have concerns about your own health and well-being, or that of your children or your spouse or someone else you love. Reach out to share ideas about what has worked so that we can help spread the word. And reach out if you have ideas or suggestions as to what HKYFS can do to help support the community during this unfamiliar, sometimes scary and often difficult time.
“Kindness in words creates confidence
Kindness in thinking creates profoundness
Kindness in giving creates love”
~Lao Tse~
By Katy Kennedy, HKYFS.
What Do I Do With These Kids ?!?
I readily admit, I am not the best stay at home mom in the best of times; that’s likely why I haven’t been one. My children range in age 22-9, with various interests, different personalities and temperaments. Now that we are faced with living and interacting more than usual, this has been a challenge at times!
Here are some thoughts on how to sane (this as my 9 year old plays the same 4 notes continuously on her clarinet for me….)
- Less is more. I have lowered my expectations. From “This will be awesome, we will bake, play Scrabble, create and write in our journals, sew, crochet and knit, to: today we will color for a while we laugh and tell knock knock jokes. Parents are feeling increased stress and pressure to do M-O-R-E! Ideas of what to do with the kids are everywhere, and many are fantastic ideas. Just know you can spread out the ideas over time, and find what works best for you! My 22 year old still recalls when we played Monopoly through a hurricane; “Yeah, you were so grumpy!” I try to defend myself though, and remind him that we played over 50 times….
- Know that children of all ages are sensing and feeling the stress of the world’s challenges in their own way. And because of this, ask questions. “How are you feeling?” “What do you miss about school?” “Do you have some questions about what’s happening?” Kids of all ages are grieving the loss of activities, time with friends, and some are deeply disappointed about the bigger losses (no prom, no visits to colleges, etc.) What children often have a hard time with is seeing beyond the present. This can be a beautiful quality, and helps children live in the moment a bit better than most of us adults. However, it can also cause anxiety, as in “Will this ever end?” Even adults are struggling now with this question–when will we be seeing a return to normalcy? Acknowledging their worry and feelings of uncertainty is important, and to respond by validating their concerns; “Yes, this is a hard time! And it is difficult when we don’t know when things will go back to normal. I am so proud of you for how you are managing, and yes, things will eventually go back to normal!”
- Rhythm and routine. As much as I hate to admit it, most of us do best with some kind of schedule and routine. I am not suggesting you go about color coding your day and planning things down to the minute. But keeping a bedtime and wake-up time close to what it had been is best–for all of us, especially children. Getting outside, movement, play, activity is helpful for the body, yes, but critical for our emotional well -being as well. It’s not fancy. My choice yesterday was a childhood favorite: Hop Scotch. The girls were suspect at first, but then we were laughing and the bending over and jumping got my blood flowing after sitting much of the day. So, the basics. Good sleep, eye on the best nutrition we can offer, movement and activity, play, age appropriate school work, conversation, creative time (I like coloring), and enjoying the outside (Come on spring, we need ya’!).
