Intro by Laurie Ruderfer, Exec. Dir., HKYFS.
Haddam Killingworth Youth and Family Services (HKYFS) has been a part of the HK community for the past 26+ years. The organization grew in response to a number of issues affecting youth in the community (family crisis, substance use, case management, juvenile review board/crime) and to meet the ever growing need and demand for local services to address local issues and needs. At this time, we provide services and supports to promote the well-being of HK children, youth and their extended families. And we are very good at providing services for the folks we already know, and trust us. But we need to do more to reach those who do not know who we are or what we do.
We are in a time when our collective mobility is constrained:
- when we all worry about the health and safety of ourselves and our children, and
- when our access to news and each other is only through online media, and
- we do not have benefit of neighbor to neighbor recommendations or a thought that bubbles up when we see a sign post on a bulletin board in the lobby of a bank or on a poster on the wall in a restaurant, and
- we do not have the comfort that comes from a conversation with a good friend and the expression on their face that tells us that they understand what we are saying or what we are going through, and
- we do not have the comfort of the shoulder of another that we lean on when we feel like we cannot support the weight of that which rains down on us.
HKYFS is your youth and family service agency. We are your neighbor. We are here to help support you and your family and your friends in any way that is needed. Though our office is offically closed we are open for business through phone, email or online contact. No issue or concern is too big or too small. No question is too simple. Reach out if there are things on your mind that you want to talk about or that worry about or keep you ip. Reach out if you have concerns about your own health and well-being, or that of your children or your spouse or someone else you love. Reach out to share ideas about what has worked so that we can help spread the word. And reach out if you have ideas or suggestions as to what HKYFS can do to help support the community during this unfamiliar, sometimes scary and often difficult time.
We will be reaching out to you through the wonder of Haddam-KillingworthNow.com for the duration of this period in our lives with ideas and suggestions and in time, we hope, to share the ideas and suggestions we receive from you. At times, each of us may be alone, but HK, we are in this together. If you need to talk, to chat, to vent, to question, to cry, or to scream, reach out. We are here and we are not going anywhere.
“One of the most important things you can do on this earth is to let people know they are not alone.”
-Shannon L. Alder
By Katy Kennedy.
Today I am hearing many people express, “Wow — so this is really happening!” In a crisis situation, and a time of anxiety and uncertainty, many feelings related to grief will come up for many of us. Disbelief, anger, blame, feelings of inadequacy, helplessness, and sadness, are some of the many feelings that we all will experience at some time or another. Our reactions to this “new norm” (an overused phrase that seems perfect now) can be, and likely will be, all over the place. As individuals, we will all be experiencing different emotions at different times. And this can make it difficult to relate to our loved ones, friends, family members, and the community. May be today, you are feeling optimistic, but a neighbor is posting doomsday quotes. May be today you are sad about the loss of a job, activities, hobbies, and a family member is overjoyed with time off from her work. We can still be “all in it together,” and sometimes feeling quite alone.
- Practice first with yourself. However you are feeling, acknowledge and have compassion towards that feeling. Watch for the judging/negative statements that can pop up “What’s wrong with me?” “Why aren’t I doing more?” “Why can’t I be more relaxed like him?” When these negative feelings come, notice the things you are saying to yourself, and counter them — just like a good friend would do.
“I am working hard under difficult circumstances.”
“It’s normal to be stressed during these times, and I am doing my best.”
“Everyone responds differently, and I am learning best how to cope.”
- Patience with those around you. We are different, and because many of us are spending more time with certain individuals, we can experience varied amounts of frustration, irritability, and impatience than beforehand. Remembering that they are likely doing their best, and experiencing their own mixture of upset emotions can ease negative thoughts towards others and make room for compassion and understanding.
- Self-Care. Sleep and adequate water intake are simple, yet forgotten ways that we can take care of ourselves. With routines changed, and perhaps decreased activity for some, and increased negative thinking, sleep can easily become disrupted. Working on establishing the best sleep habits now (and for children if you have children at home) is critical. And if you are anything like me, it’s easy to forget the importance of staying hydrated. And if your hydration normally consists of soda, tea, and coffee, you may want to revisit the powers of water.
- Stay Informed – but not to the point of exhaustion. We know that up to date information can be critical, and we live in an age where thousands of news articles, tweets, t.v. programs, radio programs, blogs, etc., are at our fingertips- if we choose this to be the case. You know yourself- find your balance, so that you are not overcome with information that can lead to exhaustion, despair, and hopelessness. Being realistic and proactive, mixed in with the many positives that are also happening in our lives and communities is key.
- Structure some fun. Now that many families have children that have school work to accomplish, and many adults are finding their way to complete their varied tasks, include activities that ideally are fun, and will include laughter. Humor, we know is a powerful antidote to stress. A friend who was a first responder in 911 has often shared the wonderful humor he and his colleagues shared during some dark times, he’d say “It sometimes was the only thing that kept us going.”
